Is the new year, again.
Is the time to compile a list of new year resolution, which more often than not, unfulfilled.
2007 has been a journey worth experiencing.
The good times and the bad times.
The loving times and the hurtful times.
Sure enough, lots of memories are left behind. Good ones.
The travelling. The spending time together.
But is also the year of realisation, due to certain curiousity.
Realisation that penetrate through the heart and leave a somehow non-removable stain.
Is been long. More than half a year. Yet it still remain. It depletes trust to a certain extent.
It questions.
And to this date, when the new year is already started. It still lingers.
I have let the experience and the hurt penetrate through that I remember it all the time.
I have not learnt to detach it, so that I live the way I live.
The penetration is halfway. It needs to go through fully so that numbness set in, and I will be able to detach from it.
Will 2008 do it for me?
Or will it continue.
It's not been said but the good times are wonderful experiences. Memories that will always be close to my heart. And when I remember them, I can smile and wish those memories are happening everyday, when I wake up.
It's so good that it affects me.
It's so good that when hurt ones settled in, it is really hurtful.
It's so good that I give up confronting.
It's so good that I am scared.
It's so good that I compare and expect.
It's so good that I fall in disappointment time and time again.
But when you realise all that and say a sweet word, I smiled.
Can I just live with that one moment of sweetness?
What do I expect?
I don't know.
2008.
Be good to me.
I want the same love.
I want the same spark. Time has no excuse.
