A Voyage of Songs

It is an international choral festival held in Shah Alam from 9th to 13th December 2005. I, as part of MJChoir, took part in two categories:

1. Category A1: Open Mixed (Advance)

[And we got a GOLD (C) diploma]

2. Category F: Folklore

[And we got a GOLD (C) diploma]

The 5-days stay at Shah Alam had been great for me. I had enjoyed the determination to practise well and give my best shot for the competition, the tiring yet exciting and fun times trying to shop in the few shopping areas around, the anxiety when waiting for the results of the competition to be announced, and last but not least the 'drunken' hilarious warm laughter and giggling during the some say "bonding" time. These 5 days were not just the competition - a voyage of songs. But they were also a voyage of friendship. It was the time which allows old friendship to tighten and new one to bloom. It was a one opportunity I would never regret grabbing for it will be one of the memories I treasure.

Love ya MJChoir.

Keep on striving.

Gonna miss all of you.

:)

Rapid Flowing of Time

In 2 days time and it would be one week since my A level ended. Phew, the long 2 years of battle was finally over and the time of freedom and enjoyment finally made its way. It's been a heavy ending of academic works for all my days are occupied hence little or no time for boredom.
Exciting agendas are laid out for which I can most look forward to: the Prom night, the Malaysia trip, and returning to Indonesia. Hopefully, I enjoy myself to the fullest, to retribute whatever hardwork I had put in in preparing for the A level since the first day I stepped into junior college.

Coincidence? Or Sign?

Long way before the A levels, I wrote an essay entitled "We pay too much attention to the standard of living and not enough to the art of living" for GP. I scored reasonable well done (36/50). Yesterday was the GP "A" level exam. And the night before, I was looking at that particular essay, but I told myself "Aiyah, I don't think I will do this kind of essay for A level" and so I didn't read the essay. Instead, the whole night, I read other essays regarding science and tech and globalisation, for I intending to do on either one of these topics.And a few days before that particular night, my close friend send this poem reminding us to slow down the pace of life, for life is not a race. It was a beautiful poem (see below) written anonymously. And two days before the GP exam, I was deleting some of my e-mail messages. When the email that contains the poem come into screen, I almost deleted it but then I told myself "eh, this poem is very nice, shouldn't delete it". So I didn't delete the poem but neither do I went to read the poem again.
Yesterday during GP paper 1, there is no topics especially on globalisation. And for the topics on science, there were only about farming, medicinal science and mathematics which I could not think of anything to write. Then there was QUESTION 9: "Instead of speeding up the pace of life, we should slow it down." My heart sank as I regretted not reading my "Art of living" essay the night before, and the beautiful "slow-down" poem that I did not delete. Is this supposed to happen this way? A destiny? Is it a sign for me before the GP exam? or is it just a mere coincidence?.

Anyway, the following is the poem I am talking about:

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

----

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

----

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say, "Hi"

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

-----

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift...

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower.

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

----
- Anonymous -

The Final Lap

The beginning of the final lap is at last, here. Judging from the day since farewell assembly to the present moment, I have not put in much effort needed to satisfy my determination in doing well for this A level examinations. I wonder, whether I have equipped myself with enough bullets for the war. I wonder, whether I have gulped down sufficient practices and concepts to build up my esteem and confidence. Well, I do hope, I put in my veriest best in all the papers, for all the subjects. And I hope, I did well.
Thanks to all who wish me the best and luck for the examinations. And To all taking the A level exams, friends or strangers, all the best, put in our best and we shall hope and increase our probability of doing well.

(21 Sept ~ 26 Sept) | 05

21 September: Wednesday
Met Ika (my bro's friend) at toa payoh MRT station.Take train to Bishan, met krystelle. She accompanied me waiting for bus 53.45 minutes travel time from bishan interchange to opposite MJC bus stop. Inside the bus, I was so panicky that I will arrive late for my FM paper 2 preliminary examination. Thank God, I arrived 15 minutes early for the exam. The paper lasted for 3 hours. The mechanics section for me was terrible - only able to do 3/4 of a question out of 5 questions.. But well, it does not sadden me cos after exam, I made my way to the airport for I was leaving to Jakarta for a four-days "holiday". To the airport with me were Celestina, Eunice, Kai Lin, Stacey, Sze Teng, Brandon, Eugene and Xiang Rong. As my flight was 8.40pm, we had some time to have our dinner. And as planned, we bought cake to celebrate Eunice, Kai Lin and Brandon's birthdays. Entered the immigration around 7 40pm. Walk around inside the airport for awhile before I went to the waiting room. The wait wasn't that long before the boarding call was made. It was so lucky of me that I got the last row of two-seater seat of the first economy class cabin, with no passenger beside me. So I was able to push my seat to the maximum slant. Cathay Pacific flight was great with its inflight entertainment. 1 hour 20 minutes flight felt like just 20 minutes. Anyway, landed at Soekarno-Hatta International Airport at 9.15pm Jakarta time. By the time I reached home it was already 10pm. Unpacked my belongings, watch tv, see my aunt's vacation photos, then went to sleep at around 12 midnight.

22 September: Thursday
Woke up at 10am. Had breakfast. At 11.30, left house to Kelapa Gading (Artha Gading Mal). Before that, my cousin dropped off his wife and daughter at his mother-in-law place. By the time we reached the mal, it was already nearly 2pm. Walk around in the mal till about 5pm when my cousin come back to pick me, my grandma, my dad and my aunt, up. Left Kelapa Gading to Gajah Mada Plaza to have our dinner at my mother's sister restaurant. After dinner, went to the Hypermart. And as usual, my dad bought quite a number of stuff. He loves supermarket. Reached home at 9.30pm. After showered, watched tv. Off to sleep at 12.30am.

23 September: Friday
Woke up at 9. Got the call from my cousin, that we are going to Cibubur to swim. This time round, my cousin's mother's friends from Ambon were also there. So we used two cars. One was my cousin and his family, his mum and mum's friends and my dad + grandparents. The other car was driven by my cousin's sister boyfriend. My aunt and I were on the second car. At Cibubur, we went to El Dorado swimming area. The two cousins with their wife and partner (respectively), plus my niece (my cousin's daughter), my dad and I swam. There was this see-saw float, that all of us tried to go onto it. Once all of us were on it, we swing it front-backward, left-right, with the intention to make one of us fall into the water. But we end up all falling into the water. For a few times we played it, the same case happened again and again. It was fun though. My niece is so cute. Though only 2 years old, she was not scared of putting her head inside the water or even playing with the water slide. And she seems not to be tired at all. After swimming, we went to my cousin's wife's father workplace. It was at the Indonesian Women Labour Workforce holding place before they are released to work in other countries like Taiwan. The place was so inside narrow road neighbourhood that we took so long just to find the place. Spent around 30 - 45 minutes there before we return to Jakarta. Once reached Jakarta, everyone of us were super hungry. Had dinner at Rumah Makan Padang Sederhana nearby our houses. Reached home around 8.30pm. At 9pm, my dad, aunt, grandma and I went to another of our relative nearby. Chit chat there for about 1 hour plus when my cousin called and asked whether we would like to go eat Sandwich bakar (Grilled Sandwich). Of course we said yes. The place was supercrowded that after us, so many people queue just to get tables. After that, my cousin drives us around the city. Went to Jl. Sudirman, Bundaran HI. We also went to the place where many transvestites like to hang out and find their prey. Haha3x. By the time we reached home, it was already 1am.

24 September: Saturday
After lunch, we went to Roxy Mas Square. Over there, my dad got me a new handphone to replace the digital camera that my grandma gave since he wanted to use the camera for his work. So I bought Nokia 3230. When we left Roxy, it was already almost 2.30pm. We were heading to the new Pondok Indah Mal 2. On the way, we were caught in serious traffic jam that lasted for almost one hour. By the time we got off the car, it was like being freed from an isolated room. The mal was pretty big, with beautiful interior. Went to SOGO supermarket where my dad bought his wine and other imported stuff he fancied. From the mal, we head to Gajah Mada Plaza, the same restaurant as on Thursday, to celebrate my maternal aunt's daughter's birthday. There, I met with my mum's youngest sister that I had not seen for almost 3 years. So excited to see her. She just started working in Jakarta for about 1 month (previously from Surabaya). My that aunt follows us back to my place to stay overnight. And so we chit chat together with my other aunt (from my dad's side) till I felt sleepy which was around 1.30am.

25 September: Sunday
Left house at 11am to Shangri-La hotel, Indonesian Room for the US education exhibition. I was particularly interested in Ohio university Aviation Management undergraduate programme. But once saw the tuition fee per annum, I knew that I would not be able to get the opportunity to pursue that course, at least for now. From Shangri-La, we head for lunch at Sate Khas Senayan. It was already 2pm. I was supposed to meet Hana at Taman Anggrek Mal at 2, but there I was in the restaurant at Cideng waiting for the food. By the time we finished eating, and I reached Taman Anggrek, it was almost 4. Hana was "scolding" me for making her waiting for me for almost 2 hours. Was with Hana for about 2 hours. We went to take photos, neoprints, and was amazed at how confused we are with the photo technology that was quite different from Singapore. We found ourselves keep on laughing for we did not know what to do. Since my aunt that stayed overnight wanted to see Hana, so ended up, Hana met my aunt, dad and grandma. But after that, the situation become quite uncomfortable for her, so she decided to go home. (sorry Hana for making you going through the 'ordeal'. he2x). After Hana left, we went to the supermarket before leaving the mal for home. Once at home, had our dinner, then I started to pack my bag for the next day flight back to Singapore. Then at 9pm, my cousin called us to go out. First, we went to my aunt's place to drop her off. She needed to work the next day. After we dropped her off, my cousin again drives us around Jakarta. Since on Friday, we went to the road where transvestites like to hang out, this time round we went to another area where gigolo like to hang out. Then drove around Four Seasons apartment area before we decided to go Taman Ratu to eat Ropang (Roti Panggang alias Bread Toast). It was 1am when we finally reached home.

26 September: Monday
Woke up at 4.30am. Had my shower and breakfast. And was ready by 4.45 when my cousin come to pick me up to the airport. My flight to Singapore was at 7.25am. We reached the airport so early, that there was no queue when I wanted to check-in, as well as apply for free tax surcharge. So end up I still have around one hour plus with my family before I went into the waiting room for boarding. On the plane, I was deciding to sleep or not. But end-up I didn't sleep. Instead, I watched the inflight entertainment throughout the whole journey. Reached the boundary of Singapore half an hour earlier than expected. Since the scheduled time was 10am for the plane to land but it was only 9.30am, the pilot decided to fly the plane around Singapore for a few rounds. Landed at Changi Airport at 10am. From there, I took cab to school. Lessons start at 11. The rest of the day began the same as any other school days.
The 4 days off at Jakarta were really enjoyable time in the midst of the stressful period of the upcoming A levels. The 'vacation' really did drain away all my stress. :)

26th September 2005

Happy 18th Birthday ADI!
Hope you have an exciting and thrilling eighteenth birthday that you will not forget. Though far from where you are, I wish you all the best. Stay healthy and happy always. Haha..Good luck in whatever you have planned for your journey of life. You can do it because you just can.

5th September 2005

Happy 18th Birthday to Hana!
May you have a wonderful joyous day. It's been quiet ever since you and Adi no longer around in Singapore. Hope to wish you the best of the best in everything that you pursue in the future. Good luck in your studies. And always stay happy cos it makes you beautiful!.

Ready..Get set...GO!

Running on the right track
Pushing all the way
Do not stumble
Do not stop
Catch my breath
Determination is on the go

Time.

Time resembles fluid - moving smoothly and flowing at seemingly increasing acceleration. August is ending and September is taking over. 16 days left to Prelim. Can't wait for that 16 days to come sooner, and without knowing the prelim is over. I am promising myself to give my best during this prelim, to judge myself how much more "the best in me" i can give for my A level.
It's been one month since my 18th birthday. And it's been quite a month full of disappointment for I have not tried / challenged myself to become someone as painted inside my cognitive mind. There is still pessimism that lingers. Laziness refuse to go. Determination is taking forever to settle down. And there is innocence that is distorted; an aggregation of selfishness; an accumulation of low self-esteem; an intra proliferation of great hope and aspiration but one that is still not able to overcome the fear within.
Friendship is a beautiful creation making its presence known everywhere. What more is a long-lasting friendship. In the process of blooming any kind of friendship, I have learnt the importance to be satisfied with whatever blessing I have and going to have. Have also learnt the need to overcome jealousy that I often feel clouding within.
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't", Ian Thorpe.

Time flies.

Today is the first day of August. It's already the 8th month. Time really knows how to fly. 42 days left to Prelim and I had not covered much revision. As the weeks passed to this mid-term, I found myself slacken so much. All the scoldings, naggings, talks and advise have apparently dissolved and no longer urge me on. The only time I found myself completing my work is on Sunday and all the free periods in school. Other than that, I wasted the time either watching tv, online, or worse still, doing nothing. I just hope somehow my determination will come back (of course it will), but come back the soonest as it can. Ever since the mid-year result, my mother has been constantly asking me "how is school? can I catch up?" and my answer of course will always be "yep, manageable". I just hope, I really able to pull through in the A level and score a decent grade, decent enough to get me anywhere.

Celebration of Life.

25 July 2005 marks the end of 17 years of life and the beginning of new phase of life. Finally, I'm 18. To me, this age signals the need to start to sort out my life - what do I hope to achieve, what do I want to become, where do I want to be, etc. As a new resolution, I promise to challenge myself to become a better person. I am challenging myself to be determined in pursuing success by sacrificing things that are not seem right to be in the top priority. I wish that gradually, but surely, I would become someone who can make my parents and grandparents proud; I would become someone who one day could hold his name with great repute. And also, I am going to learn to be happy all the time, feeling blessed with everything that I have, be satisfied with all the care and concern from those who loves and whom I love. With that, I would like to start a new beginning by saying sorry to anyone whom I consciously, or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally had hurt, wronged, accused, abused, neglected, annoyed, irritated, insulted, looked down, gossiped,....

__________________________________________________________________________

23rd July 2005:

I celebrated my birthday in advance with Krystelle. We decided to go for the chocolate buffet at Fullerton. The chocolates were yummy and delicious. I was full to the maximum with the excess chocolate that I ate. Thank you Krystelle for the company. I know you have always been my close friend whom I can always count on, share my problem and happiness with. A friend who never tired of giving me wiseful advice, encouragement and inspiration. A friend who always believe in me. Thank you for the unconditional friendship that you have given me. And, also thank you for the blue pyjamas :)

24th July 2005:

It was at 11.50pm. I was doing my FMaths assignment when someone called me with no number. At first I couldn't recognise the voice. But soon I realise it was Adi calling from the US. How nice of him to call me and greet "Happy Birthday" to me in advance for he will be having school later on. So we chatted for about 50 minutes. He has been my close friend since secondary 1. A friend whose company I enjoy. A friend who I can always count on and share my problems with. Thank you so much, di. Miss yer.

25th July 2005:

It started with smses coming in to greet me "Happy Birthday".
In the morning, met Endi at Somerset station at 6.30. He met me just to pass me a present and to wish "Happy Birthday". Thank you so much Endi. You have always been a good friend who never fail to help me when I seek one, who never fail to encourage and inspire me. Thank you for the friendship that I have with you.
Then it was school time. Nothing special happened till after the last lesson. Xiang Rong had asked me to accompany him to the toilet, so I did. Then, when we were on the way going home, we passed the benches outside the General Office. And to my surprise (an unexpected one) I saw a small cake and a big wrapped present on one of the table, surrounded by familiar faces: my classmates. Though not all were there, but most were present. So they invited me to sit down, face the cake, and then they began singing "Happy Birthday" song. Then I ate the cake, then opened the present. It was a cushion 'marshmallow'. I'm so touched. Though the cake might be small, the meaning is deep to me. Really thank you to Celestina, Sze Teng, Eunice, Xiang Rong for planning all this, and the rest for the presence and the singing. It really means a lot. :)
At 6pm, met Carolin, Endi, Cicilia, Yan Ting and Elaine at Orchard MRT control station. We decided to eat at NYDC Heeren. However, the rain was so heavy that we cannot cross the road, that we end up eating at Crystal Jade La Mian Xiao Long Pao. Pei Wen joined us then. Well the food was generally okay. I was full. Yet, we still went to NYDC to have cakes, and we ate this whole cake named "Boo, Boo". The atmosphere was warm-hearting, the company was great. I felt a great sense of belonging, and happiness in knowing my friends. Thank you so much for taking time and celebrating my birthday with me, despite that some of you have tests tomorrow. Really thank you.
At home, when I was opening all my present, and trying on the pyjamas that Krystelle gave me, my guardian with her husband, son and daugther, plus Kak Minah, came into my room with a small cake and a candle while singing "Happy Birthday". I was totally touched. Again, though the cake is small, but the meaning is deep to me. Thank you so much.

As a whole, thank you so much to all my friends for making this 18th birthday one that I will never forget. Thank you for all the smses, greetings, present, companionship, presence, and thoughts. I really really appreciate them. Once again, thank you so much. May God Bless all of you!.

Sigh.

I hate it when I got nothing to do and then start to think about every sad things which actually never happen or happen not that badly.
Missing home.

The end-point.

Mid-year examination has finally ended.
The updates:
4. Chemistry 9251 / 01 - :) :) :)
5. Chemistry 9251 / 02 - :) :) :)
6. Mathematics 9233 / 02 - :) :) :) :) :) :)
7. Further Mathematics / 02 - :)
Prediction of grades:
B - Mathematics 9233
AO - Chemistry 9251
AO - Further Mathematics 9234

The mid-point.

The mid-point of my mid-year examination is here - completed all the first part of the exam of each subject, and the rating is below.
The following rating of relief, is in relative to the amount of time spent studying and how the paper actually turn out like.
The maximum rating ~ 10 smileys, so here it goes:
1.Further Mathematics 9234 / 01 - :), :)
2.Mathematics 9233 / 01 - :), :), :), :), :), :), :)
3.Chemistry 9251 / 03 - :), :), :), :), :)

the valley song (sing of Your mercy)

You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to You

I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

When death like a gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek Your face

But I fear you aren't listening
Because there are no words
Just the stillness and hunger
For a faith that assures

I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut

Though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down

I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of Joy

Yeah!
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia

I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy

~ Jars of Clay

Glory to GOD, the Almighty!

Untitled.

"Never give up, never quit...Persist..." - Anonymous

My Temper.

"How is your [my] temper according to your [my] horoscope?"
Leo: JULY 22 - AUGUST 21
"If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don't care about opinions. You don't like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use critical language. A dressingdown can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever."
The exact truth of the above analysis in comparison to my temper seems to really fall in a 95% confidence interval. Kewl.

Brain Overloaded.

It has been 4 days since I started revising my work for the Mid-Year examination. And so far I have been able to cram in around 8 chapters of maths each day. But today, the topics that I'm supposed to cover are simply too overloading my brain. I can't believe myself studying Vectors for 2.5 hours. And that's just pure reading of notes, and not yet practising the TYS. Complex numbers wasn't that bad. Tuition: went through vertical circular motion. At first, I thought this chapter will be quite simple. To my surprise, during tuition, I was like a complete idiot. Out of 2.5 hours of tuition, perhaps 2 hours were spent just to practise getting the correct Principle Conservation of Mechanical Energy at general displacement deter. But, at least now I understand better and hope will do justice in the exam. Probably the studying of vectors before tuition injure some of the nerves in my brain to think and absorb the information quickly. Finished tuition at 8.30pm, had my dinner, followed my relaxation period ~ voluming up 'pump it' by black eyed peas while doing some stupid anyhow aerobics move. Haha. It was funny, looking at myself in the mirror. But well, it made my brain rest, and was able to complete the last chapter of Complex Number - De Moivre's Theorem and Nth roots of unity and complex no. Today's schedule was to finish Vectors, Complex No, and Matrices and Linear Spaces. Unfortunately, by the time I was done with the first two and tuition, it was already 11pm. As Matrices and Linear Spaces consists of 8 individual sub-chapter, and it's been my favourite topic and one of the strongest topic, I shall do justice to it and learn it other day, maybe tomorrow after completing 6 chapters of Integration. I'm so gonna be bored of integration. But well, if everything goes well with the schedule, tomorrow will be the day I complete the pure mathematics and mechanics part for the MC and FM mid-year. I'm so proud of myself :)

ACJC Concert Band: MUSE - A night to remember

In the morning, woke up, studied trigonomotry and functions. Went swimming. At 5 met Krystelle to buy friend's birthday present, followed by dinner. After that, we went to Victoria Concert Hall to watch ACJC band concert. Though the emcee wasn't totally good and entertaining, and there are flaws in each of the songs played, but overall it was an enjoyable performance. I love the 'And the multitude with one voice spoke ~ by James L. Hosay', as well as the percussion ensemble. To my surprise, I saw Eunice - a MJ choir member in the first three months this year - performing as a percussionist. Didn't know she was from band. The band is overall good, though not at their best performance, as some of the melody, tunes, rhythm were able to surround me. Their student conductors too were talented and looked very experienced. The encore was the longest I had ever heard, but it was a blast end. Watching this concert has really brought back wonderful memories of performing as a band member just like any other band concert I had watched since the day I left BHSS. Hearing the sliding of the trombone slide revert me to the joy of making the interesting 'noise' from the trombone [Perhaps the only instrument able to do that :) ]. The sound of the band really did make me realise how much I missed band, how much I missed blowing into the mouthpiece of my trombone and produce sounds, music. After the concert, I was telling Krystelle, if I were to join band in MJ, would the self-reward and self-gratitude be better than in Choir. But well I'm happy to be a choir member, going through difficult times to pull through and emerge as a Gold choir for the first time participation in the SYF central judging. It was a total different experience. Well maybe conclusively, performing arts just rawk!

Design.

Bleah. That day, I was just sitting down on my chair, in my room, alone, staring blankly at my monitor, then at the ceiling, down to the floor, and up again at the monitor. What's running in my thought you may ask: It's something to do with "what's after JC?". Where do I want to go? Where can I go alongside all the circumstances - passion, wish, ability, and most importantly finances. During that moment of blankness, I thought to myself, I would like to do anything to do with design. Be it fashion design, interior design, product design, graphic design, web design..This is partly because I do not like science, except for maths of course. And wanting to be in the design sector just wow me. And so I surfed yahoo for universities in US, Europe that offers design courses. I came by this university: Parsons school of design, in New York. The history mentioned that Donna Karan of DKNY as well as Tom Ford are Parson's graduate. I read the admission procedure: Firstly it provides hope since it mentions that do not despair if we do not have the basics in drawing. But, later on, it mentions as a must-to-do is to hand in a slide of my portfolio and home-exam. At least, this school stated what kind of portfolio do they want, unlike some others who blatanly just put 'portfolio'. In portfolio, they want: include work done from actual observation (life drawing), and not copied from two-dimensional sources such as photographs. And for the home-exam:
1. Draw a self-portrait in pencil. Colored pencil is acceptable. Draw from a mirror. Include the foreground and background.
2. Use cut or torn paper to construct a color collage representing an interior space where you spend most of your time.
3. In six steps, visually represent a personal process you engage in every day (ex: tying your shoes, opening a door, brushing your teeth, etc.). Show the key components of the process. You may include drawings or collage in your solution.
4. Provide a brief (500 word), type-written paragraph to describe and analyze an everyday object found in your home.
And, that's like 'gosh' for me. I do not have talent (at least I think so) for that. I am dumb in life drawing, and yet I have to draw my own face. Haiz, it's also not that I will be able to go beyond Singapore. People may ask why don't I major in design in Singapore. Is there such? Even if there is, it seems to be not promising enough. After all, Singapore is more famous for its medicine course, business course, science course.
I'm also so ficle-minded. In the last last last...last post, I mentioned about the dream of being a musician. Well, yeah I still dream of it. After all conducting an orchestra, or band, or choir, or composing a music are still a design in the making. Basically, I feel like move away from science and explore the arts. All these years, it has seemed that my talents, my thinking lies more towards analysis, towards the art of science. But, I refuse to believe that my talent for arts is just so-so. Well, we shall see how. As in for now, 95% I will be aiming for NUS. Most probably majoring in Applied Mathematics. What can I do with that degree? Teaching? maybe. Maybe not. Just hope, it's useful.

Bad.

Bad Harris. Spend such a long time to come up with a revision schedule, and the revised revision schedule..and YET!, for the two days, the schedule was not followed closely. Yesterday: Was supposed to read Impulse and Momentum, Statics of a Rigid Body and do 3 tutorial and 3TYS questions each. Accomplished: Reading and 3 tutorial for impulse and only 1 tutorial for statics. Yesterday wasn't so bad!...
Today is the worse. I am supposed to be finishing Standard Graphs, Partial Fractions, Inequalities, Binomial Theorem, Transformation of Graphs, plus practice 4 TYS questions each. In the end, none,. NONE of them is accomplished.! And now, one by one, my days are filled with 'holidaying' stuff..How can I finish my syllabus?..
I guess I have to switch mode to the ancient Harris, i.e. One week before the exams, read through all the notes without doing any sums. Haiz. Good Luck Harris.

Choir chalet.

Choir chalet: 3D/2N: 7th - 9th June: Costa Sands Downtown East....
The BBQ was on the 7th. It was fun, definitely not boring. It was the first BBQ ever that I didn't feel full, and also the first time that I see there is no leftover food. In fact, the BBQ was lack of food.Hahaha. For the 2 nights, the total number of hours that I sleep was only 4 hours approximately. That was also the first time that I can survive for long without sleep. The simple activities were actually fun: the hiaoing, the wee hours walking, the free style dance/entertainment after midnite in the beach, the bitching, playing in the playground, playing bridge (which btw I just learn in less than 1 hour - and it was actually interesting and fun, no wonder people can play it for long). And, in this period, I see people keep on feeling hungry..hahah. Now, the scariest part of this chalet. In the first night, some of the people play the cards and drink the absoluut vodka. Seeing them getting near drunk, or some even already drunk, is scary. I even had the premonition that I will slap people who begin to start fight with me, but of course luckily it didn't happen.
After the chalet, when I reached home, which was about 1.30. I slept right from 1.45 till 10.30 pm Non-stop! the first time ever I slept for long. And slept again from 1.00am till 11.00am. I muz be really tired of the night without sleep.

Depressed.

I just wish I can follow all my close friends wherever they are now, and wherever they are going. Finishing Junior College in less than half a year. Next year is university, and I'm just scared about it, of what, why, I dunno. I'm getting the addiction to be just alone, without any friends around. I hate loneliness. I do enjoy company. However, it just seems that loneliness is covering me more and more, stronger and stronger. Life is becoming sadder. Life is turning darker. Why.why. I'm finding that reason why, but it seems there is no reason to it. It's just the nature. The nature of what. the nature of me. My self. There are more to my self that I wish I can be. It's always a challenge for me to see things, to feel things, to sense things in an optimistic light. Yet, the pessimist me always outweigh the positive force. My mind is not working properly. It's empty. There is no activity.
Weird it is, looking at all the posts I have posted. One post is happy, the next is sad. One post is in light. One post is dark. Haiz, don't know, why am I always like this. Harris, why?

June begins.

Time really flies. In a blink of an eye, today is already the first day of the new month, June. In the wee hours of 1am, after much 'discussion', I got a headache, a penetrating one. It carries till morning when I try to wake up to go to school. Unfortunately, the ache does not seem to go away, although it did subside from wee. So, I didn't attend school for the lectures, instead I went to school just for the Chemistry SPA. Phew! It was the last spa. No more practical for the year. After SPA, went home to rest. My close ~friend called me to meet up, so we walk around orchard and then had our evening meal.. Follow up, is again at home, slack and slack. Now, tutorial time. Sianz.
Music. So powerful that it penetrates. So soothing that it calms. So creepy that it scares. So gentle that it accompanies. Choice. Life is all about making choice. To success or to fail - choice. To peak or to hide - choice. To think or to act - choice. To be joyful or to be solitude - choice. Colours. Representatives of diversity. Leaders of variety. They are rich. They are unique. They are full of confidence.
- Colourful music, I shall choose my life to be -

Mid Year Examination. General Paper

Today, Monday 30th May 2005 is the first mid-year examination paper: General Paper. For the essay, I chose question no.7 entitled: "Death gives meaning to life." Comment.
In the process of my mind when the impulses is travelling towards the brain to decide on that question, it seems to me that I can think of several unique, differing and interesting points to talk about. Yet, when I started writing, only the introduction feel good. The rest of the essay becomes quite boring. It feels as if I'm writing the same points for 5 different paragraphs, the only difference is that the point applies to different examples. Well, now I can only keep my fingers crossed that my essay will score well.
For the comprehension, I thought it was easier than what I expect it to be. But, this is usually the danger that lurks around. Easy on the feeling may turn out to be blunders on the result. So just hope I did justice to the paper, and score the grades I deserve to get.
After the papers, went to eat at Whitesand Delifrance with the usual bunch of people: Gerald, Ky, Xiang Rong and Joy. In addition: Cass, Benedict and Jeffrey. Then, Joy has to rush back to school to sit for her Literature paper. Hopefully, she done well. Then, we watched Star Wars Ep.III. And for me, it was the second time I watched. Movies ended around 5.25, and everyone headed back home. I slept throughout the whole MRT journey. Reached home, ate dinner, shower, slack till now writing the post.
I'm so freaking annoyed. I went to buy a DVD, and my computer cannot play it! It is twice already! Waste my money! The only DVD that the com can play is the stupid OC!!!!! ARgh!

SYF.

A belated post.
Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging of Choirs (Junior Colleges).
Choir number 15, Meridian Junior College ... GOLD.

Farewell.

27th May, Friday. Choir Farewell.
It all started ordinary. Buffet dinner sponsored by Mr Pang.. Everyone were in their own cliques, taking photos......
It was later after the cutting of the 'farewell' cake, that the farewell started more emotional. First is the giving out gift to the outgoing year 2 committee from the successive year 1 committee. (thank you Rachel for the adorable 'forever friends' bear). Then, the choir stands in circle and started to sing 'Sprited Away'. Some cried. I was on the verge of tearing. The sad moment of almost melancholy feeling penetrate the air particles of MJC atrium creating an ambience of emotive atmosphere. The choir then sang 'Thank you for the music'. This time round it was even more intense the sadness and emotions. My tears began to flow. It was unprepared. I did not expect myself to cry, because I never cried for any farewell in the CCA. Then the chamber choir perform for us the two songs, seeing Xiang Rong cry, and seeing BK who was sick but still sing and almost crying, and the whole idea of farewell, makes me cry even more. This is by far the most touching farewell I've ever had. I'm so gonna miss choir just like the way I miss my secondary school band. I'm so looking forward to compete in KL at the end of the year. Hopefully, the year 2 guys (exception of me) will not be so early enlisted for NS. Thank you Mr Kwei and Mr Yong for kind presence in the farewell, and the speech given.
After the farewell, which was about 9 45, around 18 of us including Mr Yong, went to watch Monster In-Law. The show was funny due to the intense bitchiness. At least it didn't make me sleep. After the movie, it was already one past ten in the morning. Some made a move home, while Gerald, Kok Yong, Cassandra, Jun Wen and I went to the coffeeshop nearby Zheng Jie place to eat. We chit chat, which by the way, was interesting and heart warming, till about 3am. Then we went home.....
My memories in choir will always be inside me. Good luck and all the best to the year 1 committee members. I'm sure all of you can bring choir to a greater height of quality and repute. It's been a great time working with all of you. Thank you all the year 2s for the friendship and bonds we have in choir. Thank you all the year 1s for making choir more interesting. Love you all!

La Risonanza II

26th May 2005. Victoria Concert Hall. 7.30pm. La Risonanza II: a production by Meridian Junior College Choir. It was the 2nd public performance owned by the choir, as well as the 2nd installment of the La Risonanza series.
2 weeks before the concert: SYF was just over. Everyone were tired, rehearsals for the concert were lacking of energy. Some of the songs are totally new. Learning of the songs were done so quick. There were no sectionals at all! Fear of failure of the concert can be sensed floating in the air. Dance steps for the ABBA have to be learnt, and not all the songs are done with the choreography. Furthermore, ticket sales are kinda bad. Members are selling ticket too slowly. But well, I am proud of myself for selling all ten tickets considering i wasn't from choir and so all the tickets that I sold are for those who are totally have no idea what choir concert is all about.
1 week before the concert: The new songs began to sound quite pleasant though there are still parts of the songs where people rubbish through. Some choreography were done to several songs to add spice, which is cool. ABBA dance steps for Super Trouper and Mamma Mia more or less taught to the members. And the steps are nice considering it was a last minute inspiration. Thanks to Kok Yong and Daolin, both of you had done a great job. Chamber choir too had done great job in learning their two songs (which compared to the rest of the 'pop' songs the choir is singing, more difficult?) fast, including the hilarious yet interesting choreography for 'short people'.
Concert day: Excitement diffuse through the dry atmosphere of the victoria concert hall. TKSS choir is joining the concert as the guest choir. And it must be said that they are fantastic, super! For the first songs, the halls were not fully filled. The circle seats were near empty. However, the choir just sings its best for the audience who had turned up. Ave verum corpus by MJChoir was nicely done, Lux Aurumque by MJchoir was soothing and warm (at least I think it sounded more than nice), Shoga III by MJchoir to me wasn't too nicely done, Itsumo Nando Demo by MJchoir was better than expected after much trouble memorising the words. Then it was the TKSS performance. I heard their performance was stunning. Well done. Follow up was the female chorus with two songs from the les choristes. They sounded very good. Zofia, well done for the solo part. Her voice is as pure as Morhange, the boy who sings at les choristes. Then it was the male chorus. Glad the audience like it and laugh, perhaps, for the simple choreography that was done to the songs. -Intermission - 2nd half of the concert: the hall was almost filled. That was a good sign! The Year II chorus did not do a very great job. Well to me, it sounded bad, some forgot their lyrics (including me). haha. Then it was the chamber choir performance. Comprising of mainly good singers and die-hard enthusiasts of choir, they really sounded goldly harmonious as a group. Well done Xiang Rong for the solo in short people, and for the humorous acting. Then TKSS again. Last but not least, the ABBA! The choir members burst into stage with much energy to perform the ABBA songs with its choreographed moves. Overall, the ABBA was done according to expectation. Not less, not more.
After concert: comments from my friends was joyful. All of them enjoyed the concert (yay!) and agreed that it was worth the money. One of them commented that the La Risonanza II was better than the La Risonanza I. Another one, commented that this concert was an eye-opener to him. Heard from some other audience, that the concert is a great job done. That they enjoy the concert to the fullest!. Congratulations to all Meridian Junior College choristers.
Before I end this post, just wanna thanks the following group of people: Kok Yong for the ticket sales and administrative work. Kok Yong and Daolin for the choreography. Gerald for music preparation including warm-ups. Benjamin for the concert schedule. Joy and Daolin for publicity of the concert. The rest of the committee for doing a great job in their assigned area. The Year 1 committee for helping us out, especially Rachel for helping in the treasury work. The choir members for coming consistently for rehearsals.
*MJ Choir rawks!*

Gathering.

Saturday. 21 May 2005 1000 - 1600: Choir Practice. Went home straight and then met up my secondary school friends at parkway parade for gathering. Supposed to reach there by around 6/6.30pm, but the rain + traffic jam made me late for about one hour. Had dinner at fish 'n' co which by the way does not make me full, which by the way is surprising, cos most of the time, I am always full after eating fish'n'co. This gathering was a come back after a few months of no reunion..Can't really say it was that fun, but I did enjoy the company. After dinner, went to Lido to watch 'Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith". I and the usual midnight movie watcher gang caught the 12am show which ended only at 2.20 in the morning. The show is rather cool with all the well-done graphics. However, somehow, it is still not what i expected it to be. If i were to rate, I would give 3.5 stars out of 5. But, then again, this judgement might be biased considering I almost sleep in the cinema. Fortunately, I didn't. Had to wake my guardian up so as to open door for me. Haha.

These few daes.

No new posts for these few daes partly is due to the exhausting day of school and choir practice. Also, I could not log into the friendster. Perhaps, the server was busy. So anyway, these are some of the significant things that happen in these few days.
WEDNESDAY, 18 MAY ~ Woke up at 5.30. Rush out of house to catch as early train as possible just so that I am able to reach school punctually for voice warm-up. The choir has to perform the SYF pieces to the JC2. Having to wake up so early, that would mean the rest of the day, was utterly tiring and sleepy. After school, had choir practice for the concert. We announce the new committee, which in my opinion, a very strong, stable and committed committee. Congratulationz to all of them! Reach home at around 11.30. No time for work, so just had a warm bathe then it was the sleeping time!
THURSDAY, 19 MAY ~ Again, has to woke up early. Why? Again, the choir has to perform the SYF pieces, but this time round was for the JC1. As many people were late, the warm-up wasn't effective. As a result, we sounded quite badly (as heard from some). Then it was lessons as per normal. Boring. Routine. Nothing special. School ended at 2, rush home, had my lunch, shower, then went to the national skin centre to check for the white spots on my face. After some test, the doctor consultant said that I am allergic to sun. Haha. So, has to put on sunblock everytime I leave my house. And that would mean, no more sun-tanning for me! As I leave the skin centre around 5+, I was late for the ABBA dance practice in school..
FRIDAY, 20 MAY ~ Was naturally awaken at 3.45. Then I felt so happy since I got a few more hours to sleep. In the end, woke up late. Rush, rush, rush....to school. Then, gotten back my Chemistry test which indeed was an ultimate disaster. Got 6.5/39. Then, it was the F Maths Lecture Test. I'm so disappointed with myself for not being able to do the statistics part to the flawless level. I FORGOT how to do, and I got a weird answer, and I only manage to be able to score a 50% pass. Then for mechanics bit, though the questions are the normal standard -considered easy- question, I still left blanks, simply because my mechanics are too weak. After school, went down to Siglap South CC to see the chamber chorus having their practice. At 8.30 when the practice was over, we left for bedok 85 market to have dinner. Hungry me, eat so full, till got stomachache and had to rush home.
Holiday is coming very soon. I'm excited, at the same time worried about the Mid-year Examinations that is coming up. I need a lot of consolidation for my chemistry and further maths. Have to really put my mind and soul into mugging, so as to know where my standard is so far. But at the same time, I know I won't be mugging all the way. (:
That's all for now ~

Im so freaking tired.

I'm so tired. Tired of what? Tired of everything. Tired of schooling. Tired of accepting. Tired of thinking. Tired of my present life. Why must all this happen?
I miss my secondary school friends. I miss my mum. I miss my brother. Life then was just so simple, no worries. Hakuna Matata it is. Life now is not that terribly wrong. I just find it becoming more complex, more corners of irritating feeling, more space of feeling loneliness, more gap of pessimistic feeling, more occasion of feeling sad when there is no particular reason.
I have got no idea why I am feeling this way. Why I am writing this post?...Maybe it's because I wanna a break. I'm stressed. But with what, by what, I don't really know. I just look forward to the holiday. Looking forward to the end of A level.
God bless me.

Again. and Thursday.

Waking up late behaviour has been pestering me non-stop. Almost every consecutive day, I woke up late - 45 mins or more passed the set alarm time. As such, I have to rush my shower, breakfast. and run to catch the 6.45 train. If there is no time to catch that latest train, I have to take cab. And this month, my money has been going down the drain just because of cab fare..
So today, I woke up late again. Took cab to school again. Was actually late, but I came into school through the canteen side door. There was no teacher there so was lucky not to get my name taken down. Assembled at the hall to listen to MJ Chinese Orchestra. Though they got a silver in the recent SYF, to me, they sounded above expectation. Except for certain parts where the chords doesn't form and the notes went off, their dynamics were actually reasonably smooth and pleasant. After that was the first period of lesson, and i.e. my free period. Went to canteen and do some questions of the sampling theory tutorial. Next, is the F maths lecture, followed by recess, F maths lecture again, Chem lect, GP (which was quite engaging), F maths tutorial, PCCG. Ms Sharon Lim was having high fever, so Ms Choo reliefed the class. Did some target setting for the midyear, prelim and lastly A level. Then got the news to decorate the class notice board all because this saturday there is JC 1 Parent's orientation. They do not want the parents to see the class so badly decorated. So after PCCG, decided to decorate the notice board but unfortunately the J1s are using my civics room, so have to do it later. Wait for Joy, then she, Xiang Rong and I went to Century Square to have lunch (sushi buffet at Sakae Sushi). Then for after several times, we finally bought the VJC concert ticket from SISTIC. Joy and I are supposed to go back to school - Joy has to complete her comprehension and I have to do the notice board. However, both of us feel damn tired and sleepy, so we decided not to go back and instead went home.....
Tomorrow, the plan is to reach school by 7am to do the notice board. Hopefully, I would be able to wake up! MJ Band is performing their Invictus tomorrow. Can't wait to hear them play... : )

NAPFA

I had my NAPFA test yesterday. The weather isn't that optimal for physical fitness test, but somehow the PE dept just made us do the NAPFA. Despite that, I was proud of myself for being able to perform beyond my expectation. For example, I couldn't do pull up for nuts when I was in secondary school and JC1, but yesterday, I managed to do proper 6 pull-ups. My sit-and-reach was never beyond the 35 markings. But surprisingly, yesterday, I don't know how I did it, but I manage to reach the 54 markings. Which is by the way, an A grade. I was satisfied for my five items, I achieve triple A and double C, which is a Gold standard...
Unfortunately, damn it!, my 2.4 km run was against my wish.. I only able to finish my run in 12.26 seconds which is a grade D. And, that means, my net award for NAPFA is only a Silver..What a disappointment. After all, I'm not that fit as what I thought I am...
But nevermind, who cares about NAPFA. I'm not going for NS, so whatever award I get, I should just feel satisfied...lalalala..



{Thank you Gerald and Gladys for your comforting comments to my previous post. Luv yer both!}

A Dream.

So far in life, I have always thought that I am a boy with no whatsoever talent. Extreme talent I mean. Everything - big or small, important or leisure - that I did / do / acted / act are all very ordinary, average, whatever it is. There is no certain specialty that I can feel that I can be proud of. In band, I am just a so-so trombone player. In choir, I am just a so-so singer. My studies too are not that exceptionally good..There is no something that I am so skillful in. All I am good at is complaining, criticizing, dominating, slacking, 'throwing' money, suggesting without doing the action....
But I am glad that at least all this 'misery' have begun to urge me to hold a dream. I wish to prove to the world that I am good and that I am the best. It may sound egoistic but yeah that is what I dream of going to do. I want to be the best musician of the next decades. There may be some who think that this dream is an impossible dream, but at least I hope I can be. For a start, I would like to learn an instrument, most probably a flute or piano, then start taking the music theory examination or anything that is required for me to read music in the university. Hopefully, by the time I complete my honours in either applied maths or graphic design (approximately 4 years later), I would be fully prepared to study music in university.



Thank you mum for your support in making the basis of this dream.
As for now, A level is my enemy, and I am going to dominate it.

Life.

Dream huge.
Allow your imagination to flow.
Go beyond the present thinking.
Learn from our 'inner telling sense' the direction that will make our life worthwhile.



Fly high. Approach each day as the blessing it is.