Just here and there.

Well it's been few weeks since I last blog. As usual, there is nothing particularly interesting, special or even boring to talk about. And as I see, the few recent entries, most of them were about university...and more university. This time when one is about to choose which university to go, which courses to go...the headache just becoming increasingly worst. Hahaa..well, it's quite a relief that now the acceptance period is over..The decision all made and done. But then, haha, it wasn't as it seems. Even when the period is over, my mind is still wondering, what is best.. There are peer influence, personal influence, and the little voice in my heart that want the best to please my parents who work so hard, at any costs to ensure I finish my education here, and not return back. So, I've taken steps (which is kinda late). I have made an appeal to be accepted at another university (late acceptance is what the uni called it). So I shall hear the reply from the admission office soon.

Moving on to better news, I have received letter from MJC that I will be receiving colours and service awards during the 2nd college day. Kinda excited that at least I left college with some awards...hahaha.

Then, there is the mandarin lessons..Well, learning more and more stuff now especially the characters. But of course it's still the basics and therefore can't be compared to those that have studied for 10 years and so. The good thing is, I somehow very interested in learning it and so everyday looking forward to next lesson. Hahaha.

There are times when I'm just at home, doing nothing, and mind start to wander. Missing people. Missing moments. And when current things happen that distract those moments, envy and loneliness come in, yet there is joy too beneath it that I have moved on. Then there is the whole thoughts of starting school again, university. Meeting new people, socialising. Something that I often not comfortable with. Something I feared. And all the 'what if" start filling my mind. Also, the procedures before one get matriculated, and for me get my student's pass are so troublesome and instill fear in me that what if something I have indulged in the past has led me to a point whereby all my dreams will shatter. There are too many (much) negative things going around in my mind. I guess no one will understand what I am trying to say. Well, it meant for me to understand and let it out.

I miss my friends: those I have not seen for long time, those that I have seen recently, and those that I see almost everyday.