Things I never understand

Pessimism vs optimism. Often times, pessimism win. Just pretty good example: in maths, a negative multiply by a positive, will always be a negative. In these good and bad 19 years of my life, I learnt, accepted, understood and identified a lot of things. But, there are always fundamental things, things that seem so easy to grab, that I seem to never understand.

I admit, I have high expectations in almost everything I do. I'm kinda a semi-perfectionist. In everything, I want it to be in my favour. I want myself to be pleased. But sometimes conditions can't be met and I leave no choice or way out for others to pick. Imperfection is just something not visible to me. And this imperfection often times lead me to sadness and thus vulnerability. I am vulnerable to being sad because I didn't quite get what I expect of something. The irony is, whatever I am sad about start nowhere but me.

Life of others in my eyes always seem better than mine. Full of happiness and smile. Warm friendship. Endless adventures and laughters. But what I do not know is these others often have sad stories too. It is only when I have the coincidental chance to read about these stories that made me thinking, afterall my life perhaps is one of the best.

I'm greatful for all my friends who always friends to me. And I'm thankful for those who love me so much, and I can only hope to return the love as much without inject any kind of suffering or sadness.

Selfish. Loser. Me.